is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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