I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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