my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize