loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do herpes really smell.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
