Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
