Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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