It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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