that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize