Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
