As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
