why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
