my vag is so smooth its legendary
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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