I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
