my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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