We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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