There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
