Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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