I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
