It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize