it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
