my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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