Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
