Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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