Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize