you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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