jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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