No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
