forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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