i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
