I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
