Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
