some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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