So drunk its hurt
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
