Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dick very happy bro
Please don't give away my fajitas
My feet surprised me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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