he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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