don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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