You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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