That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
