What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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