She announced her abortion via fbk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
