we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
