Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize