Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
