there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
