Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
