just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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