wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
