made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
