i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
