Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
