idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
