Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
