I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
