i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
