you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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