so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
