We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
