I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
