Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
