Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize