My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
