I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
