addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
