i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
