East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
