he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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