just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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