so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
from now on my penis is your penis
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
