dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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